Over-Thinking

I THINK THEREFORE I AM. But anything OVER- does you no good. I get into the 'over-thinking' mode a lot these days when I have all the time in my hands (I am unemployed at the moment) and my cerebral cortex is over-stimulated when I am not working or being productive.

Hence I set myself limits for thinking. For small matters, I give myself 30 seconds to make a decision. For bigger ones I give myself 30 minutes using an egg-timer. More often than not, I get something started on the spot without ruminating on whether I should do it or not; which is a waste of time anyway if whatever that is requires attention sooner or later.

And the culprit lies in the bounty of choices available to us. More and more people are getting analysis paralysis when we either make no choice or take ages to make a decision. We second-guess our decisions, and worry about making the 'wrong' ones. This ultimately leads to wasted time and lots of misery. I find it mentally exhausting and nerve wrecking in making choices modern life presents us on a daily basis. Have you ever wondered why shopping is such a tiresome activity?

With any choice, there will be multiple 'right' choices, depending on the circumstances, your personal requirement and other factors such as your financial situation. We can only make the best decision based on the information we have at the time.

I tend to stick to what I know best instead of trying out another brand or design. I go for chunky heels instead of wedges. I will shop around and talk to trusting salespeople about anything new and technologically advanced. I decided I don't need an i-phone after talking to my service provider. I give myself a deadline and make sure I come up with a decision which is indeed liberating. And I won't look back but live with my final decision, knowing that there is always better options I can't make for whatever reason.

You have a choice to choose!

PERMISSION granted

After 40 odd years of life on earth, I give myself permission to give myself whatever I need, without seeking approval from others. Such permission gives me the freedom and responsibility which help to mold the person I come to be.

Je fais ce que je veux quand je veux.

I don't have a problem saying NO to unreasonable demands on my time and attention. I refuse to be sucked up by energy vampires. I don't give a damn to what's happening outside my world which doesn't add value or distract me from what I am focusing on. I let go of friendships that make me feel unappreciated. I allow myself to change and reinvent myself each successive moment. I allow myself to express emotions when appropriate. I have permission to be ME and I don't care what others think of me. I allow myself to be imperfect in all ways. I swear when I like, however I like, to my reckless abandon. I wake up whenever I like, eat whenever I am hungry, and create whenever I feel inspired.

Nothing is more important to me than freedom, the ability to determine the course of my daily schedule and overall life direction. I have been making decisions large and small since I was a kid. I won't regret walking away from deals and opportunities which restrict my choices or limits future decisions in a way that doesn't feel right. There is no such thing as having too much freedom if you are doing something productive with it. I want to use my freedom to create, to make something meaningful. I don't want to be idling with time on my hands but freedom with a purpose, a project, a vision to pursue.

INERTIA

I have hit a point when I am feeling stuck and stagnated in life with no inspiration. My energy level is running on empty and the petrol station seems so far away. I just can't seem to move forward no matter how hard I try and I am no longer sure of where I want my life to go. I have literally fell off track and here I am at a standstill. I am feeling exhausted and frustrated like no matter how much time and effort I put into my work I feel like I am going nowhere. It drains my energy and deflates my confidence big time.

Is staying stuck a choice? I understand that I have a choice to change my life even the choices seem vague and uninviting. I need to accept my current situation and take full responsibility for it. I know I have to make the necessary changes and move forward if only a baby step. Fear of technology is lurking at the small of my brain day in and day out. Learning about social media marketing is a big turn off but inevitable if I wish to take my business to the next level. I bought manuals, read up information online but nothing seems to work! I am so negative about my capabilities that I want to give up. I know full well that there is no easy road and there are always challenges and obstacles to overcome but what lesson is there to learn in this current situation?

A different way of looking at MORTALITY

DEATH is a forbidden topic in most societies and people dread about it like a curse. To me, death is very much a part of life which is expected since birth. If babies are celebrated, it only makes sense that a person leaving this world should be a blessing and therefore celebrated in a joyful manner too.

As we can't avoid death which can happen anytime anywhere, we become more aware of the importance of things and the lack of it. Everything fades away in front of this realization. Understanding and embracing the concept of death, and that we may lose everything, our perspective changes dramatically as we start to focus on things that matter and we don't settle for whatever. We are reminded that our time is indeed limited and we shouldn't waste it by being afraid. 

Why stress over things that are not really important? Why not focus on things worth pursuing? Ask yourself whether you will do what you are about to do today if today were the last day of your life? Do you realise that none of the things that you worry about will go in your eulogy? Things like your grades, your bank balance, material possessions which you can't take with you to the grave, your employment history, twitter followers and blog subscribers which no-one cares, and failed relationships are all trivial matters compared to the difference you make in the span of your lifetime. 

'People come and go in your life but they never leave your dreams. Once they are in your subconscious, they are immortal." ~ Patricia Hampl

Do not be terrified of losing someone. Accept that mortality is inevitable and be happy for that person that he/she is free from the malfunctioned body and pain but that his/ her spirit never parts. How can the person be 'gone' when you have memories full to the brim? Be grateful for that person's presence in your life and let go. You might say it's easier said than done but I welcome death with wide open arms when my time is up, knowing that I have made a difference (no matter how small) in each person whose path I cross.