Indolence?

The human brain works in amazing ways that we don't know much about, unless you are a neuroscientist or some kind of medical professional. However, we laymen can usually identify symptoms which are indeed warning signals from the brain that we are doing too much or not enough. 

I get headaches. I have bouts of writers block. There are times I just don't feel like doing anything. I lose interests in things which I otherwise enjoy, there is a lack of motivation, and there are days when all you want to do is going under the blanket.

You have reached BURNOUTsville!

And this is the time to SWITCH OFF.

It is crucial to set boundaries, be it at work or at home.

I work within my contract hours. I need vacation at least once a year. 

I have 2 days off when my brain goes on holiday.

I suggest turning your brain off REGULARLY and DEEPLY.

Don't mistake productive idleness for vegetating. Productive idleness is an intentional act of retreating from DOING and from public engagement. It is only when we allow ourselves to take a mind break, that the subconscious may surface and new ideas pop up. The downtime also allows us to figure out who we are, what we believe and solutions to problems. EUREKA!

It'd be ideal to go on a retreat at a resort where you sit by the pool sipping Margarita all day long. Not everyone has the privilege to do that but it is possible to escape your life for a little while if you allow it. Even on a weekly basis.

The purpose of a retreat is taking time alone to stay connected to yourself. You get to listen to your inner voice without the distraction from gadgets and people. This is the time when you let yourself breathe in your life as opposed to catching your breath from busyness.

Life seems to be moving at breakneck speed that we hardly have time to process our OWN LIFE, which includes transitions, losses and accomplishments. 

Batteries need to be RECHARGED to function.

So instead of going far, create your own retreat at home. How about booking a hotel room for a day or 2. A change of environment helps a lot. I highly recommend at least once a month to avoid burning out. 

On Confidence...

I got asked many times how I could be so confident (more like looking confident or acting with confidence) but what is IT? According to the dictionary, confidence is defined as the belief in one's power or abilities. If this is the case, I certainly look the part.

My belief is personal and highly subjective, and I am independent of the opinions of others to feel 'successful' as I am aware of my ability and it takes a lot of inner strength to trust yourself. Being a writer and an artist, it takes me ages to be creatively confident, trusting the process with patience. 

To be more confident, here are the 4 major aspects to pay attention to:

• DOUBT less.You are good enough. You can do it.
• Banish ARROGANCE: you don't have all the answers!!! Don't dismiss any ideas that might conflict with what you believe is right.
• Adopt a Beginner's mindset and embrace all possibilities. When you have no expectations and no preconceived ideas but an open mind, you become receptive. 
• Do not be over-confident! And for me as a writer, I enjoy writing about what I don't know much about.

Confidence helps me progress even in the face of fear and adversity, without worrying about failure. Failure is a part of life as we live it, and I can't possibly fail when I refuse to give up. Just pick yourself up, brush the dirt off and keep going. There is always something new, a first time to something and I am adventurous enough to give it a go regardless of the outcome. 

I don't become confident overnight; it takes me years and years of failures to build up my confidence (in myself). How did I do it? 

• willing to be uncomfortable by putting yourself in situations where you are forced to overcome new and unknown obstacles
• commit to learning, adapting and growing
• accept failure 
• it is okay to be wrong as long as you learn from your mistakes
• avoid gossip at all costs and look for the best in others instead
• let go and laugh at yourself when things don't go as planned
• ignore other's opinions (who's asking for opinions anyway???)

I suppose one of the reasons that I exude confidence is that I learn to like myself, do what I enjoy doing and liking how I am doing it. I have been investing in myself since day 1, actively pursuing personal growth and subjects I find fascinating.I am constantly trying new things, developing new skills and meeting new people. I am super careful with how I spend my limited time and energy. Although my body size and shape have gone awry 15 years ago, I don't see myself inferior to super models, and I accept myself the way I am now. I truly believe that I am a person of value, and that I have much to contribute to the world before my last breath. 

When you like yourself, you can't avoid being not confident. You believe you can handle problems and overcome hurdles life throws at you. You understand person has intrinsic value and you would only look for the goodness in others. Without the need to be validated, you are empowered to make a positive impact on others' lives. 

You are worthy.

Talent vs Passion

No-one is born 'useless'. We all have talent of some kind and it is the most expensive service you can offer to the world; because you're naturally good at it and if you take it further, you can certainly make a living out of it. 

I don't understand why people work hard at something they are not naturally good at. You don't get very far even you put in all your might 24/7. Why take the hard way when you can follow your  heart and do what you love and good at?

Talent is a gift we are born with but it doesn't stay stagnant. I have always loved playing with words and the English language / French are my comfort whenever I write. I have the talent but improvement is necessary as I see the worth in writing and I want to get better at it. 

Besides, I can't possibly 'fail' when I use my talent as a means of service. What is unacceptable to others might be good enough from my perspective and there is always room for improvement. I was criticized for producing some crappy web copy from a magazine and instead of crying my eyes out, I got myself a copy of Teach Yourself Copy Writing and determined to learn all about it.

Unlocking your potential is an on-going process. It is crucial that you refine your source of information on a daily basis. Information overload is nothing new to me as I read a lot but I hardly watch the news or pay attention to anything that are not directly concerning my life. I have recently unsubscribed all newsletters which are purely distraction and try to read the ones which are inspiring. 

Having the talent and potential is futile if you don't have discipline and dedication. You must believe that it is possible to get to where you wish to arrive using your talent / potential by putting in the effort. However, talent could be written off easily and it is passion in what you do that fuel the flame and give motivation. Being talented means nothing if the person doesn't practise. 

In a nutshell, passion is far more important that talent. If you are passionate about something, you have no reason not to try. 

SHE's GOT StyLE...

I have always had a sense of STYLE ever since I was a little girl. I remember how I refused being dressed up for parties in bright pink. I have never been interested in fashion; as in following the trend and being part of the herd of worshippers of designer labels. I don't have the patience trying on clothes in my shopping sprees; let alone digging for bargains during the seasonal sales. Basically I know exactly what I want / need and I am too stubborn to take up suggestions of any kinds especially when it comes to fashion. I trust myself enough to decide what is best for me and it is important that I feel comfortable in what I wear.

My clothes or how I present to the world are my visual shorthand. My personal style and preference are what define me, it is my conscious self-expression. I know from experience what suit me and hence I can simply ignore what doesn't. I stick to what I know to be the best fit for me and my personality as I stay away from whatever that is not my cup of tea.We have the freedom to highlight aspects of ourselves including our mood, our fantasies and the roles we play through our choices of what to wear on a daily basis.

Although I don't have a degree in fashion design and none of my magazine subscriptions is fashion related, I am instinctively drawn to clothes that look good on me and I do believe that accessorizing helps to alter the look big time. I have my own colour palette and I stick to the plain and classical as I add accessories to match the occasion. It is the versatility that I like about the combination. I don't want to revamp my wardrobe from one season to the next like a fashion model when I have the basics in store. Of course my taste changes over time in terms of colours and patterns but comfort remains the top factor in my decisions. You won't see me in wedges or killer heels or you would have mistaken me for someone else. 

Knowing what looks good on me saves me a lot of money, effort, and time. On the other hand it is a creative challenge to mix and match, dressing with authenticity and uniqueness while being comfortable. You can probably get to know quite a bit about me by looking at what I wear and how I wear what I wear. Personal style is always evolving but finding out who I am and what I stand for is more important than the latest fashion trend at my age. Fitting in no longer holds me hostage and standing out is only natural when I don't care what others think of me. After all I have to be comfortable in my own skin, together with the freedom and confidence which I gain from being true to myself. 

Meaningful Living

I have literally covered my wall space with paintings and posters I have collected on my previous vacations. I look at them to reminisce the beauty of the natural landscape and the magic of transformation at the end of each trip. And I can't help but feeling stuck in a quagmire, uninspired and loathing life as I am currently experiencing in this concrete jungle, working my arse off to put food on table just to barely survive. I take up all kinds of jobs on an ad hoc basis, without the luxury of choice. Life becomes more than a chore and meaningless as I go about my daily tasks, juggling the balls which are thrown my way.

I am searching for meaning in the remaining years of my life. I want to live in a community and make friends with like-minded souls. I want to pick up my spiritual life once again as it helps to understand life and what it is about. I want a stable income so I don't have to keep worrying about paying for food and grocery at the beginning of the week. I need a job which fuels my passion and capabilities. I want to have purpose, intrinsic satisfaction and meaning in everything I do. In other words, I need to create a meaningful life for myself and for the world.

Authentic relationships are rare these days. How sustainable my business could be when I have problem taking off? Travelling with purpose is a must whenever I fly in the past few decades as I don't travel for travel sake. I can accept a lower income and therefore a lower level of consumption to pursue other life goals such as voluntourism and further education and self-development.