Finding your life purpose...

My decision of taking up the offer with an NGO instead of a paid position with a potential to split profit as a business developer has got me thinking of my values, my beliefs, and ultimately my life purposes. Why I chose work which doesn't pay the bills in times of financial difficulties could be enigmatic to most people but I can't feel better and my heart and soul are adamant about my final decision.

Having been an avid reader myself all my life plus publishing my first book a while back, I have always been drawn to the importance of literacy (and that's why I have been teaching!) and getting involved in NGO is something permanent on my planner, waiting to pounce on any opportunity that comes my way. I like to inspire and energise others, I like to give others back to themselves, I want to spend my time, resources, energy and sweat on a worthy cause which promotes literacy and life-long learning. This is not a new sense of purpose but something offloaded in the back burner, when life gets busy and chaotic just to get by.

I am starting small but I can see the potential down the road when I can gradually offer more to the cause. I am re-inventing myself anew after a setback of an extended period of unemployment and I see this as a turning point in my life when I can do more than simply teaching English. I am given a chance to lay the ground work towards my bliss. I do believe I am given the opportunity to refine my skills which will inevitably bring me closer to incorporate my purpose into my work; whatever that may be.

I choose to live a rich, abundant and radiant life which makes the world a better place to be. Living your purpose gives your life meaning. Living your purpose gives you a reason for being. It makes me feel fulfilled.

Have you ever stopped to name and frame your life purposes so that you know where you intend to make your meaning and how you intend to make yourself proud by your efforts? To help you find the meaning you bring to life, try the following and see if any works for you:

1. Ask yourself how you can create meaning and value from a challenging experience.Ask what good can come from the less than pleasant experiences. Condition your mindset of a warrior and let go of being a victim.
2. Take small risks and stretch yourself outside your comfort zone to build confidence.
3. Ask yourself what makes you come alive to find your passion.
4. Visualise yourself completing your goals and try to feel the feeling.
5. Commit to it with all your might. There is no turning back.
6. Meditate on death. Be aware of your mortality so you can harness the power of being alive. Ask yourself if you are happy with the life you have lived thus far.
7. Connect your dream to a higher purpose. The true value of your  passion is manifested through the lives you affect as a result of your work. Using your passion to serve others brings meaning to your existence.
8. Know that your purpose can and will change over time. As you grow and evolve, jobs and hobbies that make you happy at one time may no longer do so. However, the core intention and general life purpose remain unchanged.

My second week into the course

I am not big on goal setting but having some short-term ones certainly helps and decision-making is vital in the process. I have come to a point where I don't have a choice but enrolling in an e-course on social media marketing to make sense of how they work and apply what I learn to my fledging business in 6 weeks. A goal not to far-fectching yet reasonably priced.

I am in the 2nd week of the course and guess what? I don't find it enjoyable but downright frustrating. There is so much I know nothing about and this is equivalent to picking up Arabic. I am trying to enjoy the process which means practising and palying around the media buttons and getting the assignments done is the hardest part. I keep emailing queries to my instructor for clarification and help and I feel like an idiot among the group members. I break each week's assignment down into tiny actions over the week and avoid myself getting drowned in the overwhelming amount of info.

Gosh, who said technology is fun and easy???

Meeting the monster head on...

Despite my difficult financial situation and much contemplation over a couple of weeks,I went ahead and enrolled in an e-course, on something I have been dreading all along, social media marketing. It took a lot of bravery, willpower and teeth gritting perseverance to come to this conclusion of learning something which I resisted but necessary to grow my business. And it's been a week (out of 6) now with loads of reading materials and hands on assignments which never cease to bring me sweat and tears.

The idea of learning about social media marketing has been percolating on the back of my mind for quite some time and I kept telling myself that I didn't need them for my biz as long as I have a website, a blog, and a shop in working order. Alas, there is no point creating a masterpiece when no one knows about it, isn't there? I need to be visible!!!

Priority is certainly my way of getting things done, especially things I find intimidating and dreadful. I make sure to study everyday according to the syllabus and have my assignments completed way before the due date. There is no compromising and I would skip reading / making art if necessary.

Over the course of the 6 weeks, I'll need to keep reminding myself that picking up a new discipline takes time and it is my belief that social media marketing would be useful in taking my business to a new level. I understand that it is normal not to see immediate results and I shouldn't give up. I need to make sure I honour my choice and priority and seeing it all the way through.

I must admit that pursuing something I ain't passionate about is tough but the end goal outweighs the nitty gritty bits. There will be loads of challenges to overcome and my perseverance in the name of a clear goal is worthwhile when I get the hang of social media marketing and seeing my business soar.

On SOCIAL Life...

My phone hardly rings and I don't get many personal emails because I don't have a social life. Period. I suppose I am sick of showing up with a mask, kissing arses is unheard of in my 40 odd years of life and I am too outspoken and direct. People might find me obnoxious and my personality too bold and defying. It is difficult if not impossible to survive in a city like Hong Kong when you are not driven by excessive consumerism, status and power, not to mention a complete different mentality. 

I gave up pursuing 'friendship' / 'relationship' since I turned 30. I just couldn't be bothered spending time with people who are more interested in the stock market, conversations about office politics which I loathe and usually exhausted to care about anything else but sleep. I had enough intimate relationships in the past and I learned the hard way from friends who have betrayed me or simply drifted apart. I learned how to be my own best friend.

Now that I no longer need others' approval, I might come across as someone who is too aggressive and even narcissistic; traits that are not particularly popular in the social arena. I am in the minority and hence fall under the category of 'abnormality'. Now that is a major obstacle in getting myself accepted in a circle when I am the odd one out but I don't really care.

I decided that I have to take full responsibility for my social life. People will not fix me. It is simply not their job. I need to learn to accept that no-body owes me anything and everyone has a life of his/ her own. I might be alone but never lonely. A social life to me doesn't mean happy hour and bar-crawling, meeting up with 'friends' who aren't on the same wavelength and therefore unable to maintain a meaningful conversation. That is an absolute waste of time and effort as it takes a lot of energy to be someone you are not. 

Although I prefer 'human' relationships to 'virtual' ones, it seems less draining to be part of an online community and still be engaged. Maybe I should focus more on guest blogging, interviews, writing articles, joining forums and networks of sorts, get involved in speaking engagements and event sponsorships, to name a few.

And at the end of the day, I wish to create a community of like-minded individuals who get together in person on a regular basis, making art and craft, supporting each other to be our authentic selves and be proud of it. Would you be interested in becoming part of a craft consortium???

Move On...

It's been an exceptionally quiet week as far as responses to my job application is concerned. The phone ain't ringing and there weren't email invitations to interviews. Self-doubt is creeping in, I feel stuck in a quagmire and utterly miserable. But not for long.
I try listening to my soul and I just can't settle for the second best. 
I am learning to let go of what was never really there. Not everything is meant to be. Maybe I was wrong about it all along. 
I need to forget the shadows and focus on the silver lining. Quitting my full-time job which only lasted a month ain't pretty but I need to remain positive, knowing that I would be appreciated elsewhere.
The reality of the job market is bleak and I am working on ways to change my situation.
I also have to remind myself of my integrity; and refuse to compromise what I believe in.
Instead of fighting life, I choose to flow with the unpleasant time by upgrading myself, enjoying my moments in my studio, and prepare for the opportunities which might be knocking on my door any moment.
Meanwhile, I need to get out of my comfort zone and do something with my ideas such as writing up biz proposals, making contact with other makers for collaboration opportunities, and carry on making art.

I also need to be easier on myself especially in times like this. I screwed up in my last job and I was so disappointed with myself but I have no regret whatsoever. Rather than beating myself up mercilessly, I gain some perspectives about my choice and my abilities. I came to realise that working 40 hours is too much for my body and my mind. I find that I really enjoy my teaching hours with the kids but terrified by writing lesson plans without much support. 
How could I possibly discount my success in teaching after 12 years of dedication with children and adults who have appreciated my effort and heart with remarkable results?
I am only human and setback is normal and inevitable. I won't look back but now that I get to know myself a bit more, it's time to forgive myself and move on and forward.