"How are you?"/ "Busy."

People these days consider 'being busy' as a quality to be proud of, a badge of honor to carry around the neck, a signage to prove their worthiness. 
9 out of 10 people respond with the word BUSY when asked how their days were. And what does that say about the person being busy? How do we know if he is really busy, and busy doing what? I don't think someone who claims to be busy is any more important, that his time is any more valuable, or that he is winning in the rat race, if at all. Those who articulate the response are trying to show that they are in-demand and hence successful; but since when do we equate busyness to success???

There will always be work left undone, no matter how many hours you devote at your desk. The inbox will always be full to the brim. I don't advocate slacking off and being irresponsible but it is crucial to know what you have to do as opposed to everything you could do. 

I have been in situations where the staff wouldn't leave until the boss has left for the day. There are people who are prepared to stay behind looking busy after the official work hour in order to make an impression. Why are these people considered superior to those who get the important work done and leave on time? I don't get it!

Time could be used productively or wasted in gossips. What exactly are you busy about? What are you focused on? Most people work on auto-pilot and it' s like keeping the conveyor belt in motion (with or without baggage). I am not a robot as I need to be conscious of what I am doing and that has to be meaningful.

Being focused is what get the job done, usually within a time frame you set for yourself. When you pay attention to what you do while minimizing distraction, you can then say you are busy and occupied. I can't be busy just for the sake of being busy. That's so so stupid!

Would you consider focusing on only the meaningful aspects of life? And next time we meet, you can tell me how busy you are with audacity.

On DEtachment...

You are not going to believe this: I have just written up a post on the topic of busyness and it disappeared into thin air in the middle of spell-check! Yes, I should have saved it so it's really my fault...speaking of heart-breaks, I have something else to share instead.

After 4 decades of being a human on earth and the experiences accumulated hitherto, I dare to say that I don't intend to commit in everything I do. In fact, I prefer not to commit a full 100%. Yes, it sounds unprofessional and even a vice to most people but I am doing it to protect myself from future heart-breaks and disappointment. I don't like to be unappreciated when I have made an effort to perfect a task. I don't need humiliation when people start making comparison. I don't like it when people make me feel like shit and useless just because they themselves have a problem and need to lash it out, or that they have to step all over you to cover up their inadequacies. I just don't have the time and energy to be constantly let down and disappointed.

I share his sentiment when Neil McCauley said in 'Heat', "Allow nothing in your life that you cannot walk out on in 30 seconds flat.". Whatever I bring into my life, I must be able to walk away from at a moment's notice. To do this, we need to practise 'detachment'. 
As we evolve, what we already have, be it a job, a relationship, or a habit, changes and our readiness to walk away means that we are willing to grow and to pursue a better version of ourselves. We ought to walk away when situations no longer add value to our lives (or worse, when they drain value from our lives).

C.S Lewis said, "Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose." I can't agree more.

Tips to get things done without feeling overwhelmed...

I easily get overwhelmed from overloaded information and the fact that I am a scanner, too many projects and tasks on my plate at any one time. Hence, I need a system to relieve my stress and headaches and the best way that works for me is to ask myself a list of questions before starting anything:

• Do I need to do this now? How urgent is this?

And separate tasks into 5 categories: delegate, trash, change, someday, and keep

• Am I the right person to do this? Can I handle this?
• Can I delegate it? DELEGATE NOW.
• Is this something I need to do to move my goals forward?
• Is it simply filling time? TRASH IT NOW.
• Is this the right thing to be doing? 
• Is there something else that might be better to get me where I am going?
• Is this something that needs to  be done now? or something I would like to do in the future?

Then there are the one-off tasks which can be completed within minutes and there are projects which require steps over a period of time.Schedule them in your planner!

You may also keep a list of active projects and a someday / maybe list. I keep them in pretty folders and return to them from time to time for review.

Another way of classifying your tasks is to group them into one of the 3 areas: 

Administration eg. laundry, ashing up

Focus eg. writing your novel, building your business

Spirit eg. making art, reading your favourite book

And make sure the 3 areas are well balanced in your daily schedule.

As much as we wanted to control, there are things which are out of our control. Consider the weather, when we get sick, when and how people die and natural disasters. Organization allows you to be flexible and resolve a problem if the goal changes or that a contingency plan is needed.

Do you find this helpful?

R U Overwhelmed and Stressed Out?

As we are a week into the new school year, emotions of kinds show up in different households and the most common ones are indisputably feeling OVERWHELMED and STRESSED; regardless of your role as a student, a parent, a teacher, or a helper.

Starting a new job teaching full-time, for me, is indeed overwhelming and stressful, especially after being unemployed for 16 months. The new routine, the new environment, the requirements of me, among many other changes, could be worrying, if you allow them to be. I am no expert in stress management but here are my ways to make my life easier in transition:

• let go of some activities on your to-do list, make amendment accordingly. Make sure you know the difference between something being URGENT and IMPORTANT and ask yourself if you can reduce the activities down to a minimum while getting the important ones done.

(REMEMBER: you don't need to be on top of everything and not everything needs doing!)

• take deep, slow and steady breaths to bring your heart rate down (in with the nose and out with the mouth)
• nothing needs to be completed RIGHT NOW so just do ONE little thing at a time like making yourself a cuppa and do only that
• practise meditation and listening to my favourite CDs while dancing to the rhythm
• instead of sitting at your desk tapping away for hours, take breaks in between and move your body ( a short walk nearby the office would suffice)
• before you take your next vacation, you are entitled to change your surroundings by taking some ME time and away from technology; I personally need to be out of the cubicle every now and then to clear my mind and find creative solutions to problems
• get a pet ( I know this is not feasible for everyone but it works miracles!)
• say no and mean it; you can only do so much as a human
• do more of what you love more often
• change what isn't working for you and stop whining about it
• do not worry as it is draining and doesn't help improve the situation
• leave your work at the office, literally and figuratively. Make a clear boundary and only work within the official work hours.
• take your rubber duck with you to the shower/ bath
• I change into my lounge wear IMMEDIATELY as soon as I get home from work and get comfortable
• have a cuppa to unwind
• read something irrelevant to work
• household chores can be calming and soothing after a long day at work (I like the meditative quality they have)
• an hour of TV watching your favourite program helps you to forget about problems at work for a while
• get a good night's sleep

The list is by no means exhaustive so do share your tips with us by leaving a comment.