Take heed to the message your body is telling you...

So Summer is already here and what have I accomplished so far in the past 6 months? There has been a lot of 'busyness' but not much to show for it. Yes, I had a part-time teaching job for 2 months but that too is coming to an end ( in a couple of days to be exact). Was that time wasted? Far from it. 

I had a viral infection earlier this month followed by a major skin infection which is indeed debilitating. I am still on antibiotics and this is a painful process to overcome; my skin is all flared up and taking a shower or simply washing my hands is almost unbearable. The medication makes me drowsy and I sleep so much to the point of shutting myself down from all kinds of activities and communication. I had to cancel meetings with friends and take sick leave off from work. The heat and humidity are not helping either. I can't recall spending so much time in bed for decades and I am sure the body is alarming me to rest up and re-organise my so called 'life'. 

Resigning from the part-time teaching job is absolutely necessary; as I don't feel being useful 'babysitting' kindergarten kids when I know I can do a lot more. Living a simple life allows me to quit without worrying too much about my daily expenses. I have also come to realise that teaching senior students one-on-one is more my thing as I feel I am contributing and making an impact on those under my tutelage. I am now looking for people who wish to improve their English privately and this is what I do best from over 12 years of experience. 

Meanwhile, I am learning the nuts and bolts putting myself online teaching French and Latin to beginners. I like to see this happen as part of my nomadic life in the near future. The e-course Humane Education-Teaching for a positive future is about to start in a week's time for 6 weeks and I am so looking forward to it and I hope to apply my knowledge and ideas to curriculum development for schools and learning hubs. I will be revamping my website and updating my etsy shop, re-initiate contact with old friends and acquaintance in the coming 2 months; staying indoors with air-conditioning and iced lemon tea.

There are some of the things I have decided not to do anymore, and social media is one of them. I have unsubscribed 70% of the newsletters which I never had time to open or read. That is pretty phenomenal as I used to spend hours perusing them instead of writing my own, for fear of missing out on stuff which I don't really care about. I am also taking a break from producing my weekly newsletter SLLM, which shall resume in the fall.

When I am in a better state of health, I shall return to my creative cave, reading what has been sitting in my library for months on end and possibly go to Europe for a sabbatical. Whatever is the next big/ small thing, I am rolling with it the best I can, taking one day at a time.

Teaching as my life-long career

I have finally handed in my resignation today. To be quite honest, I enjoy teaching at the centre except for the kindergarten ones whom I have difficulties handling. It's not easy for someone who is more into the academic side of things and very much result -driven. Working 12 hrs a week is pretty darn good but then again, I have problem with the heat and I guess I am too old to be teaching the little ones.

It seems to me that teaching is my life long pursuit. Quitting this job doesn't mean I am giving up my role as a teacher / mentor. I am still teaching one-on-one and in fact, I am learning how to create online teaching which saves a lot of time commuting. I'll be focusing on English and maybe English Literature but I am also challenging myself to teach Beginners French and Latin. I have always believe that teaching what I wish to improve is a win-win situation and so be it! As I am having a ball creating and developing curriculum / lesson plans, I am really looking forward to my time spending in my home office!

On top of that, I have enrolled yet another online course 'Teaching for a positive future 1' offered by the Institute for Humane Education in the States. Being a life-long student, I am hoping to explore the most critical social issues of humanity and be part of the solutions in making the world a better place to be. I have also submitted my proposal to the Learning & Teaching Expo to be held in December when I can share my insights in a lecture format into the future of learning (to be confirmed acceptance in October). yes, I am that serious.

I might not have a stable income after quitting my job (and having been unemployed for so long didn't kill me) but as long as I am alive and my brain works, and by word of mouth, I am sure I can recruit new students who need help while enjoying the process.

Mercury Retrograde hits town!!!

Mercury Retrograde!!! I can feel it all right! The phase of the moon and planets has always had a negative impact on me; and this past week has been absolutely chaotic! First I got really sick to the point of taking 2 days no pay leave from work and instead spent a day's worth of my salary at a visit to my GP. I am taking Valium when I go out as I feel so weak and nauseous in the crowds which send me to episodes of panic attack. My skin condition, chronic eczema, flares up big time in the heat so I am unable to make craft with my hands of open wounds. Even writing hurts! 

Then I booked an appointment to get a technician to check my air-conditioning system and he didn't show up. I went to another shop and paid for a new one but they don't have the model I want in stock so I have to wait for another week for installation. Then my existing printer died on me so I got myself a new one which I believe to be the solution but after 3 hours of connecting, it still doesn't print! Is it any wonder why we are advised not to purchase anything electronic during this time of Mercury Retrograde?!!! 

Anyway, I have just sent in my resignation letter as I don't suppose teaching K1-K3 is my thing at all! I don't have the patience to babysit and entertain them by making a fool of myself. I shall continue freelancing for adults and students of senior levels as I feel being useful and more appropriate. Money is important but I'd rather go without if my well-being is at risk.

Well, what's next...?!

burn-out already!

The heat and the stress have finally taken their toll on my wellbeing over the weekend. I couldn't fall asleep until 5am even after taken an extra dose of medication. I kept waking up and by the time I opened my eyes again, it's 3pm but I didn't feel fully rested. My eyes were swollen and I felt restless.I guess this must be a sign of burn out which seems to occur more frequently as I age.

My heart is definitely not here in Hong Kong. I find breathing extremely difficult in the weather like this and I'd do anything to get myself out of this hell of an oven. Yes, I can always fly back to Melbourne to escape the summer but I have financial difficulties after being unemployed for so so long. Now that I am working part-time, which is better than nothing at all, I can't afford to quit and simply take off. On top of that, I am having problem handling the K1-K3 kids where I teach. It is indeed a challenge which I am determined to overcome by creating better lesson plans and training myself with more patience. Visiting the chemist has become a routine when I need steroid and antibiotics for my skin problems which flare up big time in weather like this. 

I find it hard to be grateful when I seem to be stuck in a rut and when I am in physical pain. Burnout is inevitable when you are a type A person. Yes, I need to slow down and be less hostile. Being a perfectionist, I am extra hard on myself when it comes to failure so I need to decide on being good enough rather than being perfect. My so called life is all about working for a living, for survival, and reading and sleeping are my means of escapism. I exist, therefore I am. 

Is this the way to live???