The heat and the stress have finally taken their toll on my wellbeing over the weekend. I couldn't fall asleep until 5am even after taken an extra dose of medication. I kept waking up and by the time I opened my eyes again, it's 3pm but I didn't feel fully rested. My eyes were swollen and I felt restless.I guess this must be a sign of burn out which seems to occur more frequently as I age.
My heart is definitely not here in Hong Kong. I find breathing extremely difficult in the weather like this and I'd do anything to get myself out of this hell of an oven. Yes, I can always fly back to Melbourne to escape the summer but I have financial difficulties after being unemployed for so so long. Now that I am working part-time, which is better than nothing at all, I can't afford to quit and simply take off. On top of that, I am having problem handling the K1-K3 kids where I teach. It is indeed a challenge which I am determined to overcome by creating better lesson plans and training myself with more patience. Visiting the chemist has become a routine when I need steroid and antibiotics for my skin problems which flare up big time in weather like this.
I find it hard to be grateful when I seem to be stuck in a rut and when I am in physical pain. Burnout is inevitable when you are a type A person. Yes, I need to slow down and be less hostile. Being a perfectionist, I am extra hard on myself when it comes to failure so I need to decide on being good enough rather than being perfect. My so called life is all about working for a living, for survival, and reading and sleeping are my means of escapism. I exist, therefore I am.
Is this the way to live???
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