I am diseased...

The past week has been intense; at least for someone who hasn't been 'working' for so so long. 
I am writing freelance for a magazine.
Tried copy writing for the web but failed.
Covering at a learning centre every MORNING freelance.
Preparing demo lesson as part of job interviews for the new school year.
Writing my weekly newsletter.
Writing my blog.
Updating my website.
Constantly learning.
And I am not coping too well; I am sick. I've booked an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow. Yes, it's pretty serious as my tongue and upper palate are in so much pain...and rashes all over my body.
It could be the weather when the humidity level is 95%.
I don't mind juggling between jobs at all; in fact it suits me being a multipotentialite. But yes, there are many challenges ahead of me. 
What I need is to learn how to structure my work. I need to design a system for pivoting between passions and projects, for making daily headway, for meeting my goals and hopefully having an impact on the world. 
But the thing is: I need the stimulation to move forward. I yearn to learn. I thrive on variety. 
Maybe I need to be ruthless about reading my newsletter subscriptions, write less, and be content with my imperfections. There is only so much we can do in a day and over-committing myself worrying that I might be missing out on something is a sure-fire way to frequent your doctor. 
I am gonna rest up this weekend and probably do nothing for a change. I need it.

Take a Staycation...

I'm spending my summer in Hong Kong this year; not that I have become fond of the suppressive heat and smelly body odour you can't avoid travelling in the MTR, I am still trying to pay off my credit card debt from my trip of last year, and not having found a job for over a year certainly doesn't help. It is a bloody tough situation to be in especially for someone who thrives in sub-zero and craves stimulation only changes of scenery can provide to her satisfaction. Yes, I am stuck in this city while trying to remain indoor as much as humanly possible, vowing not to die from a heat stroke. 

Having said that, I can't see why a vacation at home is far-fetching. There are places in town where I have never been to and this is probably the best time to play tourist. (Trust me, I need a map for navigation.) I can make use of the holiday time to pamper myself in large doses which we hardly take the time for. How about trying out new restaurants / cuisine you read about? Make art in your home studio for a weekend and nothing else. Take a nap post breakfast or a siesta in mid afternoon in the air-conditioned hub of yours might seem to be a luxury otherwise. 

You don't have to give yourself a reason to take a vacation; you deserve it regardless and the world will thank you for taking time for yourself! Have a retreat at home if you can't afford the time to be away or the cost of going on a cruise. Nothing beats the time spent in bed reading a great book. A cold shower before bed is indeed soothing in a weather like this. After all, it is the time doing what you love and not what you must or should that matters. We all need to escape our life every now and then. Stopping to be simply feels luxurious.

money or your passion?

Being unemployed for an extended period of time is not funny. And working on something for free or little money makes it seem ridiculous. I carry on my job hunting mission week after week but how do I spend my hours day in and day out indoor and not feeling wasted? I write. Yes, I tap away at my laptop, producing sentences as a freelance writer, for the joy of it as money is the last thing that comes up on the rewarding scale. 

What I do (or don't do) in life is driven by motivation and willpower. Freelance writing doesn't make me wealthy but the job itself resonates with my passion, which is a motivation of putting my thoughts into words and sharing my perspectives with readers. My willpower to build my portfolio and get my writing in print is stronger than ever. In order to keep my motivation and willpower running full throttle, I need to handle what drains me and focus on what drives me. There are many ways of banishing the drains and be more focus every step of my way (which warrants a separate post) but having a clear and compelling why is paramount to my success in whatever I set my mind to. I am not writing freelance because I have nothing better to do; I do it because I grab the opportunity of following my passion in writing, being a member of a team that supports, and building a portfolio with a magazine the philosophy of which resonates with my core being worthy of my time and effort.

I believe I am a worthwhile investment, to myself and whoever employs me. I am seriously committed to my education, skill-building and habit development. I have high expectations of my performance. It is about time, if not sooner, to build and demonstrate patterns of reliability, consistency and persistence; none of which can be bought with cash.

I am a scanner!

I remember how a friend of mine in Canada used to comment on my 'lack of focus' and I felt such a loser everytime I started something and gave up soon enough. I thought I had this flaw in my blood which would destroy me in the end, never amounting to anything for the rest of my life until I came across what Barbara Sher who coined the term 'scanner' had written in her books and my perspective about who I am has changed.

I lose interest in things I thought would interest me forever.

I get bored as soon as I know how to do something.

I can't stand doing anything twice.

I keep going off on another tangent.

I can't pay attention unless I am doing many things at once.

I need to be intellectually challenged all the time.

I am a rule breaker and I hate routines.

I need to be on many projects at the same time, moving from one to another to keep me productive.

I know I don't fit into the accepted norm like the majority who are specialists, people who are satisfied with one area of interest. I am genetically wired to be interested in many things. I am curious and would explore everything that I find interesting. I love reading and writing, creating artwork using different media, designing projects and running a business, and they are of equal importance to my wellbeing. Having said that, I have no problem to focus; just a different way from others. I thrive in multi-doing when I invest the same amount of energy in doing several actions at once, giving me the leeway to divert my attention from one thing to another before boredom strikes. Instead of completing one task at a time each after the other, I have several things running all at once, without the need to complete any of them. This kind of parallel process works exceptionally well for long term projects like writing a book or making artwork.

As  a self employed multipotentialite, I juggle between freelance writing, social media marketing, making artwork, selling on Etsy, teaching, curating my website, blogging, producing newsletter, creating e-courses and many more ideas incubating in my head. I am no superwoman but I learn to focus on the present moment in whatever I do and be mindful. I am constantly brainstorming and mindmapping the gazillion things I want to do.  I like to list out my goals and when I merge them with my interests, I figure out what I need to focus on. Rather than being caught in a dilemma of either-or, I get to design my life to indulge in my quirky passions. Multipotentiality is for life and we don't have to do everything all at once. There are always new ideas, projects and interests coming as we crave every new learning opportunity to which we are addicted. It is okay to change gears as our energy and enthusiasm ebb and flow. Each action however small is worthy of celebration. There is no shortage of inspiration for scanners!