My phone hardly rings and I don't get many personal emails because I don't have a social life. Period. I suppose I am sick of showing up with a mask, kissing arses is unheard of in my 40 odd years of life and I am too outspoken and direct. People might find me obnoxious and my personality too bold and defying. It is difficult if not impossible to survive in a city like Hong Kong when you are not driven by excessive consumerism, status and power, not to mention a complete different mentality.
I gave up pursuing 'friendship' / 'relationship' since I turned 30. I just couldn't be bothered spending time with people who are more interested in the stock market, conversations about office politics which I loathe and usually exhausted to care about anything else but sleep. I had enough intimate relationships in the past and I learned the hard way from friends who have betrayed me or simply drifted apart. I learned how to be my own best friend.
Now that I no longer need others' approval, I might come across as someone who is too aggressive and even narcissistic; traits that are not particularly popular in the social arena. I am in the minority and hence fall under the category of 'abnormality'. Now that is a major obstacle in getting myself accepted in a circle when I am the odd one out but I don't really care.
I decided that I have to take full responsibility for my social life. People will not fix me. It is simply not their job. I need to learn to accept that no-body owes me anything and everyone has a life of his/ her own. I might be alone but never lonely. A social life to me doesn't mean happy hour and bar-crawling, meeting up with 'friends' who aren't on the same wavelength and therefore unable to maintain a meaningful conversation. That is an absolute waste of time and effort as it takes a lot of energy to be someone you are not.
Although I prefer 'human' relationships to 'virtual' ones, it seems less draining to be part of an online community and still be engaged. Maybe I should focus more on guest blogging, interviews, writing articles, joining forums and networks of sorts, get involved in speaking engagements and event sponsorships, to name a few.
And at the end of the day, I wish to create a community of like-minded individuals who get together in person on a regular basis, making art and craft, supporting each other to be our authentic selves and be proud of it. Would you be interested in becoming part of a craft consortium???
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