my slow progress toward fruition

I am feeling burnt out from making my e-magazine happen by my deadline and yet, there is always some kind of obstacles which I need to overcome; and in this case, the technical part of converting my pages into a flipping magazine. I hate to break my promises but alas, there is only so much I can do alone in a day and working 24/7 doesn't help when you are stuck. However, I am making little progress everyday and hopefully the mag can be launched in a week.

It's been a learning curve for me big time. For someone who is techno-phobic, there were many sleepless nights, tearful episodes and frustration in the last 3 months of working around the clock, trying to learn the new software and making mistakes after mistakes; all in the name of starting my own e-magazine, which is a long time dream I am determined to make into reality.

There were times when I felt like giving up. However, my challenge mindset put me back on track. I thrive on challenges after all and the fact that I have already came so far is in itself a motivation to keep going. There were days when I didn't feel like working on the project and ended up watching a DVD or went back to bed but that is what my body was telling me: do something different or rest up before I get physically ill. Sometimes I shrink my objective of the day to tiny goals which doesn't seem too overwhelming and plough on

The sea is rough but it is important to stay the course if I really want to get to the end result. For a scanner, the project can become stale after a while and it is easy to become restless  and bored. To keep my eyes firmly planted on the horizon, here are some of the things which help me stay the course:

• be crystal clear about where I am going and why I want to get there
• try to enjoy the process even though I dislike technology
• ask for help
• find the fun part
• cut myself some slack 
• work in moderation
• show up everyday

Yes, I wanted to see the end product fast but sometimes the only thing we can do is to just face the direction that we want to go, and keep moving, even at snail pace. I know deep in my heart that I am on my way to the finishing line and if I keep doing the little that only I can do, the outcome would be phenomenal!

setting unrealistic deadline...

I have been working on a Super BIG project-creating my first e-magazine incessantly for almost 2 months now and when I originally set myself a deadline for its launch, which is in 5 days time, I didn't realize I have set myself an unrealistic goal and I honestly don't think it can be released end of the month as promised (to myself and my contributors). 

Starting anything for the first time ain't easy, especially when it  is something of such magniturde and you are doing it alone, and learning a Design software always takes time, especially for someone who is hopeless in technology. It is one mf my dreams to have my own magazine so I really don't mind working 24/7, navigating away in the winter darkness and getting rejection from people who are either too proud or too busy to accept my invitation to contribute. I have been toiling away in tears figuring out how the software program works,researching for artists from all corners of the world who I believe are expertsl in their fields for content. I have been using my scanner a thousand time over for printables I wish to share with my readers. A lot of writing is done on top of my weekly newsletter and blog to get my messages across in my e-magazine. I take the project seriously as I believe it would benefit adults who have forgotten how to have fun and be a child again. 

There are still a handful of pages to go and I am still learning to insert videos onto the pages. There were times I wanted to throw in the towel but I persevere anyway as I visualize my dream comes true. I learn to be patient with setbacks and obstacles which are inevitable in doing anything worthwhile. I am doing a little bit everyday, and instead of rushing to make it to the launch on a day I set for myself, I might as well delay my schedule to another week or so, as I prefer quality to a sub-standard product. 

I shall send out another post about my new baby as soon as it is done to my satisfaction!

Be nice until it's time not to be nice.

My body doesn't lie and I regretted not listening to my body when the signal was loud and clear: don't fall for it; this is too good to be true. I chose to trust someone I have never met, took up her offer, only to find that she has a mental problem and of course I was cheated.

Here is the abridged version of my story. Don't feel sorry for me and I am only blogging about it to vent my anger and to warn you if you happen to be finding work with a trusted organisation. Please feel free to pass this around to whoever you believe might need a reminder before getting involved in a job which seems to good to be true.

The principal at Think International School called me and offered me a temporary job for 10 days from 8:30am-3:30pm at $1000 per day. I went to see her in her office a couple of hours later. She seemed 'normal' to me and after showing me the schedule, she told me that I could leave at 1:30pm as the classes that followed were Chinese so I won't be needed. I asked for a contract but she said she could be trusted and that documents were not necessary as this was only a temp job. 

I worked the next morning. On the second day, I felt something wasn't right so I asked her to send me an email to confirm my temp employment (if not a contract) and I received an email much later in the evening that the pay rate was $600. Now what if I never asked for the confirmation? Did I agree to the 40 % reduction? This is just outrageous.

I emailed her straight away about the misunderstanding and she replied that I should have used my rationale to determine the pay rate if I was going to cut short the hours. What kind of logic is that? Am I supposed to read her mind and without the terms in black and white, I couldn't possibly dispute with her decision, could I? She could have easily denied my existence by the end of the 10 days! She even asked me to go back to make up for the hours if I really wanted the $800 so badly. She is so so sick  to believe that I would even consider stepping into the premise that I suggested she seek psychiatric treatment. 

After a few exchanges of correspondence, she offered to send me a cheque of $1200 by mail. I was so sick of hearing from her that I thought I'd accept it and get it done and over with. A few minutes later, another email popped up saying that I needed to pick up the cheque at the school. Talk about changing your mind. Then she asked me to give her my banking details so the money could be transferred directly into my account if I don't want to pick up in person. 

How can I possibly trust someone who changes her mind every few minutes? Anyway, I have been sick to the core the past few days and she has sucked my energy dry. I no longer want to have anything to do with her and the school so I guess I'd take a risk giving her my banking details to shut her up. 

Another lesson learned from this: there are 'educators' out there who abuse their power and take advantage of people who are looking for work as a teacher (or teaching assistant)  by putting on a fake smile and a calculating mind (I am sure this is not the first time she did this) assuming that we are all vulnerable and gullible. 

I strongly advise parents to be cautious about putting their children under the care of TIS. Please give it a second thought if you wish to spend your money on an institution whose principal is so screwed up and unethical. You don't want to be ripped off, do you?