Perfectionism sucks!

I used to suffer from chronic perfectionism which manifested itself in various ways. I needed to be in control at all times, which brought out the leadership in me without being aware of it. I had a problem trusting others, and it could get out of hand when you trusted yourself more. In my eyes, nothing was ever good enough; never mind if it was something serious or trivial. Isn't that obvious that my anxiety of missing out on something will somehow stop it from being the best version of myself? Consequently, I had to do everything myself which was totally impossible for a human being with limitations. I am now learning and making significant progress to leave unfinished projects on my desktop, files and heavy binders on the floor and go to bed forgetting my laundry. I am learning how to let go of little things knowing that it is okay to stay put in the grey area and nothing has to be black or white. It is typical of me to abandon a project when I feel I weren't doing my best, thinking what the whole point is when it isn't absolutely perfect from the start. Setting myself a standard of getting things right the first time has brought about many quitting and resigning. I was about to throw in the towels after my first day at work in my new part-time job. I am seriously considering the option unless I can kick perfectionism in the butt and just get the job done. Being a perfectionist is both time and energy draining and I am working on easing off on my perfectionist ways, knowing that what I am doing is good enough.

So instead of focusing on being perfect (which is a myth), I need to change my mindset to completing my job the best I can and let it be. I will be focusing on the barest essentials and make adjustment along the way based on my accumulated experiences. I'll make assessment maybe once a month or so rather than judging my progress every step of the way. 

I am still learning to cope in imperfect circumstances and to accept my flaws. Life gets boring when there is no challenges so instead of cursing the harsh reality of life, I'd better come up with workarounds and solutions. 1 % of anything is better than 100% of nothing. I'd be forever unemployed if I am waiting for perfection to knock on my door. Setting myself deadlines also helps to curb my perfectionist tendency. Finishing something I started feels awesome, and enjoying the 'not so perfect' process is probably more important that doing things perfectly.