I am absolutely normal, just different...

For multi-potentialites like me, without a 9-6 office job but busy all the same due to a full plate of projects going on which are changing all the time, I am kinda stuck when people ask me the question, " What do you do?"

I guess there are pros and cons for being a multi-potentialite, as I play various roles at different times and taking up / letting go of projects at different point in time. Hence, I tend to tailor my answer depending on who is doing the asking. I might introduce myself as a writer if I happen to meet someone who is in the publishing industry. I would consider sharing more only if I feel they are genuinely interested and I can always provide a one word answer when I want out. I usually throw out a feeler before diving into the role in depth to avoid unwanted elaboration.

I get lost about my identity at times as I juggle so many different roles alone at different times of the day. I don't have a conventional job title and I like to respond by saying what and why I do instead. "I teach local school kids English in order to make a difference in their academic lives." "I love writing and I send out blog posts and newsletters on a regular basis to subscribers." " I hand-make art pieces, in particular, wall hangings, which I sell online at Etsy." " I am in the midst of creating my own e-magazine to be launched end of the month; which targets adults who are stressed, overwhelmed, bored and even angry at their jobs and that they need to become a child again for balance and wellbeing." The list is endless. 

It doesn't matter if others understand me and what I do just because I don't have a proper job title or that I don't work in a cubicle at strict working hours. Rather than being a specialist which doesn't fare well with a scanner personality, I prefer exploring different disciplines and acquiring different experiences which have a purpose in itself. 

I like the flexibility, the ability to pivot between subjects and take on new roles. In fact I thrive in that. It is so important to be true to who I am and Being a specialist in out of the question. I like to open up to possibilities which allows me to switch things up and do amazing things. I take my dreamer self along to cafes and just people watch and mind-wander away which is productive in ways you can't even imagine. Inspiration and ideas come to me and trigger my creativity which a dead-end job could never do. Learning and expanding my mind is more important than what outcome they lead; at least not for a multipod.

Call me a dabbler if you wish but I am more into new projects that stretch my comfort zone than being an expert in any one area. You might see an unfocused mess on my CV rather than someone who has many interests and has variety and learning on top of her priority list. Unsurprisingly, time is a big issue for multipods and there is so much you want to get done. (Maybe that's one of the reasons that I charge a relatively higher fee for the hours I work.) It isn't easy for me to decide on which project to start with when there are so many choices. I am constantly overwhelmed by all the information available to me both on and off line that it is not surprising that I take regular sabbaticals and solitude to recover from the intense consumption. Instead of actually finishing / completing a project, you might find some leaving around my house which I have 'finished with' when I am bored with them. I might pick them up again in the near future though...

Can you relate to my identity as a multi-potentialite?

Perfectionism sucks!

I used to suffer from chronic perfectionism which manifested itself in various ways. I needed to be in control at all times, which brought out the leadership in me without being aware of it. I had a problem trusting others, and it could get out of hand when you trusted yourself more. In my eyes, nothing was ever good enough; never mind if it was something serious or trivial. Isn't that obvious that my anxiety of missing out on something will somehow stop it from being the best version of myself? Consequently, I had to do everything myself which was totally impossible for a human being with limitations. I am now learning and making significant progress to leave unfinished projects on my desktop, files and heavy binders on the floor and go to bed forgetting my laundry. I am learning how to let go of little things knowing that it is okay to stay put in the grey area and nothing has to be black or white. It is typical of me to abandon a project when I feel I weren't doing my best, thinking what the whole point is when it isn't absolutely perfect from the start. Setting myself a standard of getting things right the first time has brought about many quitting and resigning. I was about to throw in the towels after my first day at work in my new part-time job. I am seriously considering the option unless I can kick perfectionism in the butt and just get the job done. Being a perfectionist is both time and energy draining and I am working on easing off on my perfectionist ways, knowing that what I am doing is good enough.

So instead of focusing on being perfect (which is a myth), I need to change my mindset to completing my job the best I can and let it be. I will be focusing on the barest essentials and make adjustment along the way based on my accumulated experiences. I'll make assessment maybe once a month or so rather than judging my progress every step of the way. 

I am still learning to cope in imperfect circumstances and to accept my flaws. Life gets boring when there is no challenges so instead of cursing the harsh reality of life, I'd better come up with workarounds and solutions. 1 % of anything is better than 100% of nothing. I'd be forever unemployed if I am waiting for perfection to knock on my door. Setting myself deadlines also helps to curb my perfectionist tendency. Finishing something I started feels awesome, and enjoying the 'not so perfect' process is probably more important that doing things perfectly. 

energy management...

To me, it is a holiday everyday (I don't have a job to go to at specific hours) but the official red public holidays allow me to live life a bit slower, with more room to contemplate and take things at a slower pace. As everyone is either taking a sabbatical from the handy gadgets and more so vacationing out of town, I get to pause every so often and pay more attention to the projects I am working on. It gives me the much needed break to check in and calibrate, to take stock and ensure that I am on the right path, spending my time on things that I care about, surround myself with the right people, while making the most of the time I have when interruption is minimal. I cherish periods like this for mental clarity. 

Having said that, I am becoming more selective when it comes to job interviews I am offered. I'd make sure at the start that my potential employers share my vision in education, that the working hours fit into my schedule, and that I am not prepared to lower my salary expectation just because I am desperate. At the same time, I am more aware of my energy supply and stop fighting my body clock. Never been an early riser, I would need to adjust my priorities to ensure that I finish at least one of my most important tasks for the day; knowing full well that I can't possibly be productive the whole time. I manage to get most done in the afternoon and then again early in the morning. They are my peak hours and albeit 'atypical' to the majority of the population who work 9-6pm in a cubicle, I might as well accept my idiosyncrasy and work around my personal clock. 

I have no intention to become a morning person any time soon. Depending on the type of energy I have at different times of the day, I tackle tasks accordingly and as a result, I get to do the best work without forcing myself to be a zombie.