Teaching as my life-long career

I have finally handed in my resignation today. To be quite honest, I enjoy teaching at the centre except for the kindergarten ones whom I have difficulties handling. It's not easy for someone who is more into the academic side of things and very much result -driven. Working 12 hrs a week is pretty darn good but then again, I have problem with the heat and I guess I am too old to be teaching the little ones.

It seems to me that teaching is my life long pursuit. Quitting this job doesn't mean I am giving up my role as a teacher / mentor. I am still teaching one-on-one and in fact, I am learning how to create online teaching which saves a lot of time commuting. I'll be focusing on English and maybe English Literature but I am also challenging myself to teach Beginners French and Latin. I have always believe that teaching what I wish to improve is a win-win situation and so be it! As I am having a ball creating and developing curriculum / lesson plans, I am really looking forward to my time spending in my home office!

On top of that, I have enrolled yet another online course 'Teaching for a positive future 1' offered by the Institute for Humane Education in the States. Being a life-long student, I am hoping to explore the most critical social issues of humanity and be part of the solutions in making the world a better place to be. I have also submitted my proposal to the Learning & Teaching Expo to be held in December when I can share my insights in a lecture format into the future of learning (to be confirmed acceptance in October). yes, I am that serious.

I might not have a stable income after quitting my job (and having been unemployed for so long didn't kill me) but as long as I am alive and my brain works, and by word of mouth, I am sure I can recruit new students who need help while enjoying the process.

Mercury Retrograde hits town!!!

Mercury Retrograde!!! I can feel it all right! The phase of the moon and planets has always had a negative impact on me; and this past week has been absolutely chaotic! First I got really sick to the point of taking 2 days no pay leave from work and instead spent a day's worth of my salary at a visit to my GP. I am taking Valium when I go out as I feel so weak and nauseous in the crowds which send me to episodes of panic attack. My skin condition, chronic eczema, flares up big time in the heat so I am unable to make craft with my hands of open wounds. Even writing hurts! 

Then I booked an appointment to get a technician to check my air-conditioning system and he didn't show up. I went to another shop and paid for a new one but they don't have the model I want in stock so I have to wait for another week for installation. Then my existing printer died on me so I got myself a new one which I believe to be the solution but after 3 hours of connecting, it still doesn't print! Is it any wonder why we are advised not to purchase anything electronic during this time of Mercury Retrograde?!!! 

Anyway, I have just sent in my resignation letter as I don't suppose teaching K1-K3 is my thing at all! I don't have the patience to babysit and entertain them by making a fool of myself. I shall continue freelancing for adults and students of senior levels as I feel being useful and more appropriate. Money is important but I'd rather go without if my well-being is at risk.

Well, what's next...?!

burn-out already!

The heat and the stress have finally taken their toll on my wellbeing over the weekend. I couldn't fall asleep until 5am even after taken an extra dose of medication. I kept waking up and by the time I opened my eyes again, it's 3pm but I didn't feel fully rested. My eyes were swollen and I felt restless.I guess this must be a sign of burn out which seems to occur more frequently as I age.

My heart is definitely not here in Hong Kong. I find breathing extremely difficult in the weather like this and I'd do anything to get myself out of this hell of an oven. Yes, I can always fly back to Melbourne to escape the summer but I have financial difficulties after being unemployed for so so long. Now that I am working part-time, which is better than nothing at all, I can't afford to quit and simply take off. On top of that, I am having problem handling the K1-K3 kids where I teach. It is indeed a challenge which I am determined to overcome by creating better lesson plans and training myself with more patience. Visiting the chemist has become a routine when I need steroid and antibiotics for my skin problems which flare up big time in weather like this. 

I find it hard to be grateful when I seem to be stuck in a rut and when I am in physical pain. Burnout is inevitable when you are a type A person. Yes, I need to slow down and be less hostile. Being a perfectionist, I am extra hard on myself when it comes to failure so I need to decide on being good enough rather than being perfect. My so called life is all about working for a living, for survival, and reading and sleeping are my means of escapism. I exist, therefore I am. 

Is this the way to live???