I am diseased...

The past week has been intense; at least for someone who hasn't been 'working' for so so long. 
I am writing freelance for a magazine.
Tried copy writing for the web but failed.
Covering at a learning centre every MORNING freelance.
Preparing demo lesson as part of job interviews for the new school year.
Writing my weekly newsletter.
Writing my blog.
Updating my website.
Constantly learning.
And I am not coping too well; I am sick. I've booked an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow. Yes, it's pretty serious as my tongue and upper palate are in so much pain...and rashes all over my body.
It could be the weather when the humidity level is 95%.
I don't mind juggling between jobs at all; in fact it suits me being a multipotentialite. But yes, there are many challenges ahead of me. 
What I need is to learn how to structure my work. I need to design a system for pivoting between passions and projects, for making daily headway, for meeting my goals and hopefully having an impact on the world. 
But the thing is: I need the stimulation to move forward. I yearn to learn. I thrive on variety. 
Maybe I need to be ruthless about reading my newsletter subscriptions, write less, and be content with my imperfections. There is only so much we can do in a day and over-committing myself worrying that I might be missing out on something is a sure-fire way to frequent your doctor. 
I am gonna rest up this weekend and probably do nothing for a change. I need it.

Take a Staycation...

I'm spending my summer in Hong Kong this year; not that I have become fond of the suppressive heat and smelly body odour you can't avoid travelling in the MTR, I am still trying to pay off my credit card debt from my trip of last year, and not having found a job for over a year certainly doesn't help. It is a bloody tough situation to be in especially for someone who thrives in sub-zero and craves stimulation only changes of scenery can provide to her satisfaction. Yes, I am stuck in this city while trying to remain indoor as much as humanly possible, vowing not to die from a heat stroke. 

Having said that, I can't see why a vacation at home is far-fetching. There are places in town where I have never been to and this is probably the best time to play tourist. (Trust me, I need a map for navigation.) I can make use of the holiday time to pamper myself in large doses which we hardly take the time for. How about trying out new restaurants / cuisine you read about? Make art in your home studio for a weekend and nothing else. Take a nap post breakfast or a siesta in mid afternoon in the air-conditioned hub of yours might seem to be a luxury otherwise. 

You don't have to give yourself a reason to take a vacation; you deserve it regardless and the world will thank you for taking time for yourself! Have a retreat at home if you can't afford the time to be away or the cost of going on a cruise. Nothing beats the time spent in bed reading a great book. A cold shower before bed is indeed soothing in a weather like this. After all, it is the time doing what you love and not what you must or should that matters. We all need to escape our life every now and then. Stopping to be simply feels luxurious.

money or your passion?

Being unemployed for an extended period of time is not funny. And working on something for free or little money makes it seem ridiculous. I carry on my job hunting mission week after week but how do I spend my hours day in and day out indoor and not feeling wasted? I write. Yes, I tap away at my laptop, producing sentences as a freelance writer, for the joy of it as money is the last thing that comes up on the rewarding scale. 

What I do (or don't do) in life is driven by motivation and willpower. Freelance writing doesn't make me wealthy but the job itself resonates with my passion, which is a motivation of putting my thoughts into words and sharing my perspectives with readers. My willpower to build my portfolio and get my writing in print is stronger than ever. In order to keep my motivation and willpower running full throttle, I need to handle what drains me and focus on what drives me. There are many ways of banishing the drains and be more focus every step of my way (which warrants a separate post) but having a clear and compelling why is paramount to my success in whatever I set my mind to. I am not writing freelance because I have nothing better to do; I do it because I grab the opportunity of following my passion in writing, being a member of a team that supports, and building a portfolio with a magazine the philosophy of which resonates with my core being worthy of my time and effort.

I believe I am a worthwhile investment, to myself and whoever employs me. I am seriously committed to my education, skill-building and habit development. I have high expectations of my performance. It is about time, if not sooner, to build and demonstrate patterns of reliability, consistency and persistence; none of which can be bought with cash.