I was chatting with an old friend of mine the other day when the subject of life purpose came up followed by a pretty long conversation sharing our different perspectives. To me, life has come to a halt a few years ago when I stopped teaching privately and not having 'a job' for so long has brought about bouts of depressive episodes, with so much time in my hands and potential locked up inside of me, when my days were spent / wasted watching DVDs, reading crime fictions and junk literature. I sleep a lot too as it's easier to kill time when unconscious. It seems to me that I am in the midst of retirement and it takes a lot of effort to keep myself alive. I could have easily shot myself in the head if I had a pistol on hand.
Life is just so meaningless it seems. There is nothing to do, nowhere to go. Nothing interests me and I feel like a wreck. I am just a mass occupying space. Is this what I get in exchange for freedom? I don't have a family, or dependents, not even friends. I don't have anything valuable in possession. I don't have a mortgage or a car. I am literally free from any attachment. I am free to take my life whenever I want as no-one would even notice. So what kind of life is this when there is nothing to look forward to, nothing to be responsible for and waking up in the morning being the worst nightmare?
Wouldn't it be neat if we could just turn our body off functioning and get out of this material world when we see fit?
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