Friend or Foe?

I have always been a bit of a loner since the day I was born; but making friends had never been a problem in my prime. I was a social butterfly and cooking up a conversation with strangers is commonplace in the past. I met loads of acquaintances and made plenty of friends but they seem to have drifted away as time goes on. Being in the right place at the right time is crucial to the development of friendship I must say but it is also a harsh reality of life that people come and go throughout the years. People change. Friends change.

Making new ones ain't easy when you are in your midlife; being stuck in a city I hate doesn't help either so I have no-one and yes I am alone.

What is a friend to you? I believe friends are the ones who know you as you are, understand where you have been, accept who you have become, and still encourage you to grow. 

My pre-requisite of a friend:

• someone who is prepared to give time and sincere, focused attention
• someone who etches a loving, inspiring memory into my mind
• someone who doesn't judge and bully but accept my originality
• someone who is honest with me by telling me things I might not want to hear
• someone who is loyal and never betrays me no matter what
• someone who cares to reach out and stay in touch, regardless of the geographical distance

Are these qualities too much to ask for?

Your best friend who has chosen to get married and be a wife and a mother has no time to hang out with someone single, and there is no common topic to share in conversations. Then there are those who don't want to hear about news and updates in my life when they would call me at 3am crying over a lost relationship. Then there are those who wouldn't be bothered keeping in touch. It takes 2 to tango and I am fed up with one-sided relationships and I could only cut them out of my life. I decide once and for all that I would never spend time with people who suck my energy. I would never entertain those who just want company in their own misery. 

Living and working in solitude isn't new to me. I am alone but nevertheless lonely as I learn from my early days to be my own best friend.

"Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone."~ Paul Tillich

I choose to connect by disconnecting. And now you understand why I am not getting a smart phone or particularly active on facebook.