MY gifts

Only in my mid-life can I see and appreciate the gifts (in disguise) which have sculpted me the person I am now:

I have scars all over my body, inside and out. They are ugly to look at but each of them has a story which shows the quality of strength to keep moving forward and overcome whatever is my way. Maybe that's why people see scars as the equivalence to toughness...

I don't smile much and I do look sad. Why pretend to be happy when you are not? I need to be true to myself even if that means wearing my feelings on my sleeves and I learn the heart of compassion only when I accept my own sadness as part of life.

It doesn't take long to see my physical body is 'broken', in the sense that I am not in optimal state of health without relying on my medication. My body is severely challenged with chronic eczema, and there are the side effects of taking steroid and antibiotics. I persevere nonetheless as life goes on and I have come to accpet my broken body as it is. Medication is one of the ways to keep me functional.

My broken heart shows my capability to love and be loved; even though it's been a while since I had a relationship.

There are many sad stories throughout my life and I tend to delete them from my memory bank. However, they are still lurking in the small of my brain and can be easily triggered back to life. Each of my stories is a gift per se as I get to know myself more. Journaling helps me to grow.

All experiences, good and bad, bring me wisdom. I get wiser with the knowledge gained and life is about choices based on such knowledge. I can then make a positive difference with my choices each passing day.

It is in the struggle that we remember who we are. Out of the pain comes our deepest truth. I am constantly put to test while learning how to navigate in the dark. Life is not easy but I believe it's my mission to guide others toward the light and find their way. I am doing my best each day to put one foot in front of another, using the gifts I have been given in difficult circumstances.