A peace of mind

I don't sleep well these days; waking up a few times throughout the night and being sick with a nasty cold doesn't help does it? Medication no longer has full power over me and no wonder I feel jittery and scattered, as if I am somehow falling apart and withering away. I lack a peace of mind.

I have been relentlessly sending out job applications and it is a miracle to get response from a few who are impressed by my qualification and experience. However, I got my hopes up and the correspondence stopped before I had a chance to an interview. I learn to accept the ebbs and flows of life and in this case, let go of things which I have no control over. 

I am also comfortable with who I am without make-up, without a mask. I won't trade my reality for a role, or my truth for an act, never mind giving up my freedom of thought. Maybe that is why I am still unemployed...or my last job didn't last.

I always find time meditating, even for just 10 minutes. These are the moments when all worries and care of the world are dropped and I am free from external pressure. I can experience myself in these moments of solitude.

Making art is one of my top priorities.  When I can get into the flow and peace of mind is inevitable. Teaching is another passion of mine which is the source of my greatest achievements and my finest moments.

I learn to give up regrets and excuses as they are things that have already happened (maybe that's also the reason I never like history) and cannot be undone. I have also learnt to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going, while appreciate the freedom that lies within. It is only when I am suspended in mid-air that I force my wings to open , trusting the wind to carry me forward.

One other thing I learned is to minimise my exposure to negative news. It all started with 9-11 when the terror swept my entire being and there was nothing I could have done in front of the TV screen. Episodes of natural disasters are getting more frequent and the news are eating up our souls. 

And ever since I started to live with intention and the idea of simplicity and minimalism, I no longer measure my success by material wealth. It is the process of focusing my life around specific and authentically held intentions that I feel the sense of peace. 

And above all, I learned that life is change . Things change. People and circumstances come and go. Life goes on regardless. The world doesn't revolve around me. I learn to begin the next chapter in my life when things change unexpectedly rather than resist them. 

I am sure there are more to attaining a peace of mind and I am still exploring...