It's been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me lately; there is a lot of emotion lashing out from my inner being, and I apologise for affecting those closest to me. Being in a perpetual state of changes and inaction doesn't solve the problem so I need to figure things out and arm myself against the disease of drifting through life. I refuse to give in to a life of mediocrity and stifled dreams.
I met a friend of mine for coffee the other day and she told me something that I have known all along that I wasn't the type of people who work for others and mindlessly follow orders; and it's almost mandatory that I am my own boss so that I feel I am in control somehow. I remember one of my ex-employers said to me on my last day that I was the worst employee he had ever hired but he could see the leadership in me and that I would turn out to be the best boss. I took that as a compliment.
Live life on my terms.
Create my own rules.
Be myself.
Live and work anywhere.
Freedom is always on top of my priority list.
Maybe I have a nomadic soul begging to be expressed in some way. I wish to do where I can find what I am looking for.
Imagine going away every summer to somewhere cold ( I am a winter person), taking long sabbaticals to work on a passion project, homeschooling an orphan (I am childless) or teaching the underpriviledged, giving up my possessions and just take off to faraway places indefinitely, being available to pet or house sit all over the world while I explore, taking up seasonal jobs in different parts of the world for variety and experience, etc...
That's what my heart wants and it's hard not to follow it without frustration and sadness.
No comments:
Post a Comment