I didn't write last week as I was stoned out from the medication for a nasty cold, which seems to be going around lately; a confirmation that Spring is indeed here. I am not completely recovered as I am writing this but being sick is no longer a valid excuse to procrastinate, and we are never really 'ready' for anything worth pursuing anyway.
Being fiercely independent, I can't help but feel threatened by the aging process. I fear aging because I fear that sickness or frailty rob me of the independence I survive on for so many years. I would hate to become dependent on others when I become unable to be there for myself.
We are all aging by the second and yet, I find it difficult to accept the lost years which could be one of the major reasons for self-hatred. I don't have to grace to wear the battle like Meryl Streep or Susan Sarandon (both of them my favourite celebrities) nor do I wish to transform into the latest version of Meg Ryan.
To embrace the aging process, there are certain things that I do or don't which make it less depressing.
- I am totally transparent about my age.
- I don't wear makeup and okay with it.
- I don't believe I know more than my juniors.
- I won't restrict my activities just because the number is increasing.
- I have no intention whatsoever to alter my physical appearance.
- I am volunteering.
- I like farmers market more than supermarket.
- I take life one day at a time, knowing that death could be just around the corner.
- I no longer take life too seriously, which makes letting go a lot easier.
- I don't care what others think of me.
- I show my feelings on my sleeves.
- I don't feel bad about not living a conventional life.
We all go through different phases of life and what I used to find appealing no longer do. Things are no longer black and white and I am beginning to see more grey in between. Time seems to pass so much quicker the older you get. Meanwhile, I have much more clarity in what I want to do (for a living) and how I want to do it.
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