Starting Over (yes, again)

My full-time job at the learning centre lasted a month. I guess I have over-estimated myself to start with...I am no longer YOUNG and my energy is easily depleted. I was seriously burned out when my body was aching all over. I was so drained and exhausted at the end of the day. I got bored teaching the set curriculum which must be followed to the T, not to mention the criticism I got on a regular basis about things which were unreasonably expected for someone who has just taken up the role. 

Teaching is my passion and gifted with this special bonding with kids, time flied in the classroom only to be given other responsibilities which I found overwhelming. The vibes in the staff room weren't pretty when there was so much tension going around. My heart was no longer there and I knew it was time to unplug and say goodbye. I just didn't see the point of exchanging my precious time and commitment for a meagre salary.

Being back to the 'normal' work life after an extended period of 'rest' ain't easy. I was desperate as I needed the money to help expedite my next sabbatical overseas. I thought I would slave away for a while, adjust to a different routine, and generate a stable income in order to get out of HK. Unfortunately, what works for MOST people doesn't work for me. I had no personal time which means my creativity was stalled. I had no energy left even to read on the MTR as my eyes were sore and migraine visited me frequently. My days-off were spent in bed catching up with sleep and restoring my sanity. I was pushed to the limit when being criticized for delivering a less than perfect job.

So back to square one and starting over, a commonplace reality of life. Yes it is a punch in the gut, it is depressing but it provides a new way of looking at my life. I try not to let yesterday use up too much of today. I learn to accept starting over as part of my journey (which is nothing new to me in the past 40 odd years). I can only believe that something better and more appropriate will come after I take a second look at exactly how I approached everything in my life, my job, my health, my stress level and the way I went about my day-to-day life.